I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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