Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
