Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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