so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
