Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
