OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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