I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
