This girl is more easily done than said...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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