Are we in a gay sports bar?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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