today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
should my penis look like a turkey
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
