Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
