Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
