I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
