doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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