She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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