you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
