uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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