So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
