dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
