Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
