last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
