I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
