I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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