they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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