Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
