You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
