Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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