so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
