I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
