brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
