You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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