What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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