i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
