Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
