Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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