Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
