im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
