I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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