Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
