i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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