Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
