Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
