Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
