I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think i got beer on your cat.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
