I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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