Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
