you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
