Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
