it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
