I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
accomplished twins. life is a go
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
