i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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