We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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