Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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