"it" just moved
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
