i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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